Life & Longing

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I never quite felt like I belonged.

Not in the red dust of Zimbabwe where I was born. Not in the wild, luminous beauty of Cape Town or the cool green of Gloucestershire. Not in the rush of London, or the wide, bright sprawl of Los Angeles. I moved through worlds, gathered accents, learned the art of fitting in.

So I became a chameleon. Warm, fun, ambitious. Always giving the world what it wanted from me.

And I was good at it.

But underneath — quietly, persistently — something ached.

Even as a little girl, I sensed there was another way to live. A deeper current beneath all the striving.

At four years old, I climbed a tree, closed my eyes, and felt it. Completely at one with everything. The sky. The sun. The earth. Pure joy. No separation.

That moment never left me. It became my compass.

Life unfolded in chapters, the way it does — each one teaching what the last one couldn’t.

For years, my husband Larry and I built a life together. A real, full, imperfect life. And woven through all of it, the extraordinary luck of sharing a spiritual path. It changed us both.

Then, in an instant, Larry was gone.

Grief doesn’t ask your permission. It arrives and rearranges everything — every assumption, every certainty, your future life. It strips you back to what is real.

And what is real, I learned, is this: the journey itself. Not the destination. Never the destination. Only this moment, and whether I can find joy in it.

I have lived across continents and carried questions that wouldn’t leave me alone.

Who am I, really? What is this life for?

That seeking is the thread running through everything. The hunger for connection, for understanding, for belonging — to the world, to others, to myself.

I found my way back through stillness. Through meditation, through presence, through learning to stop running from the quiet.

Everything I’ve lived has brought me here. To you.

With love,

Janie x

You’re invited

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I’ve spent decades learning, loving, losing, and finding my way back. Thoughts swerving and zooming, somewhere on the edges of the madness, always knowing it would pass. What I’ve gathered along the way — the hard-won bits, the unexpected joy — I want to share with you

 Because I believe you always have a choice in how you live your life. Always.

  I have a gift for seeing the best in people, even when they can’t see it themselves. And when you are finally ready — truly ready — you begin to notice life more intensely. The world gets brighter. Something opens. And it feels like being in love.

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