Today is My Dad’s Birthday

Not perfect. But he was my hero.

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Today is the 9th of May.
I woke up thinking about my lovely Dad.
Robert Nelson.
Born in Lancaster.
Youngest of nine children.
Soloist in the choir at Lancaster Priory Church.
RAF man. African pioneer. Golfer. Gentleman.
He would have been 109 today.

I’ve been sitting here today looking at old photographs.
Thinking about Southern Rhodesia. Zimbabwe.
Africa suited him.
He became Bob there.
Looser. Fuller. More himself.

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During the war, his Bomber squadron took off without him one morning.
He had been signed off sick.
They never came back.
And for the rest of his life he had survivor guilt.

But I think about it all the time.
The randomness of it all.

That’s why he was the way he was.
Driven. Dependable. And a little bit sad.

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His love and courage was unwavering.
His life was full of remarkable achievements.
He was always a gentleman.

When dementia arrived in his last years, something unexpected happened.
He started speaking straight from his heart; great declarations of love, out of nowhere.
And he developed, of all things, a gift for comedy.

I feel so blessed to have had those last years looking after him.
To be there at the end.
It was hard and it was holy and I wouldn’t change a single day of it.

He always said: don’t judge people by what they say. Judge them by what they do.
By that measure, Robert Nelson was one of the finest people I have ever known.

Happy birthday, Dad.
I love you.
I’ll raise a glass tonight.

Love always
— Janie x